The Root of All Evil

I firmly believe that the root of all of society’s problems is unwanted children. Crime is almost always perpetrated by an unwanted person. We are profoundly over populated. We just keep popping out more and more children.

Why? I have heard some say that they had children to feel unconditional love. I have heard some say that they had  children to “not make the same mistakes” their parent’s made. I have heard some say that they had children because their religion prohibited birth control.

For the first group, I say that having children to make yourself feel better is a terrible reason. It’s borderline criminal. It’s selfish and cruel. I would recommend getting a pet, but I don’t trust you to be in charge of another living organism. Read a book or something. Besides which, there is no such thing as unconditional love. Love, like respect, is earned. If you treat the child correctly, they will love you. But if you’re the type of person that brings another person into the world solely to feel better about yourself, it’s not likely that you will be a good parent, and your children will end up resenting you anyway.

To the second group, realize this. YOU ARE DOING THE EXACT SAME THING YOUR PARENTS DID. You are continuing the cycle, not ending it. You’re parents had a waste of space child (you), and now you are doing the same thing.

To the last group, I find it ridiculous that you follow your religious teachings when it comes to having children, but ignore it when it comes to abstinence. Do you really think your deity will turn a blind eye on premarital sex but when it comes to condoms, you will go to hell? What kind of idiotic logic is that? Oh right. Your religion needs it’s army. Your religion needs more and more children to mold into the child bearing factories of tomorrow. You are dangerous to society. Stop.

Have you ever noticed that when you hear about people addicted to drugs, their parents were, too? Do you know why? Because the parents were STUPID and had a child. That child had not only the genetic predisposition, but grew up in an environment that fostered addiction. Guess what? That child that is now an adult, they are going to have children. And they will be addicts too. Why can’t we stop this cycle? Why can’t we put an end to this?

“My husband and I have been having problems and I think having a child will fix them.” Are you insane or just stupid? Yeah. Go ahead and bring another living person into your personal hell. That will benefit society immensely.

“I come from a big family and have always wanted one too.” Do you base all of your judgments and decisions on those of your family? If so, then you are not self sufficient enough to raise children.

“I already have one child, so I might as well have another.” I hate you. I truly wish a painful death upon you. You are a waste of space and should be surgically altered to not be able to reproduce. And that first child, the one you have already started fucking up, they should be taken away from you. They would be better off being raised by wolves.


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  1. Geez, Chris, you’re so funny. In an ironic way. Borderline crazy, maybe?

    • Julie on January 7, 2011 at 10:46 am
    • Reply

    Great rant! Overpopulation has been my major rant for about a year and a half now. I truly believe reducing world population would reduce much of our current problems: pollution, negative climate change, species extinction, food shortages, job shortages, etc. Seriously, you could do a separate rant on each of these topics and more. Rant on overpopulation and pollution. Rant on overpopulation and species extinction. The list goes on and on. But be careful in how you define ‘we’. Americans, Europeans, Japanese, have not been adding to overpopulation in forty years. Instead, we have been the enablers of the irresponsible countries. India refuses to tackle their problem. Instead of insisting on population control, the Brahmin (ruling) class takes the positions, “Now that we’ve turned our country into a shithole, we’ll (Brahmins) all move to American!” Same with Turkey. With the economic downturn, the Turkish ambassador was in Germany trying to preserve annual visas. Why? Because Turkey refuses to curb their population growth. Instead, while Germans limit their families, Turks just keep producing and producing and send the excess overseas. Ditto the Phillipines, Pacific Islands, South and Central America (can’t fault China, they’re trying!) Someone published a book last year insisting that in order for the United States to preserve economic growth, “we” need to increase immigration so that our population doubles in the next forty years to 600 million! Great! Just encourage every third world cesspool to keep hemoraging people. We’re enablers. We need to stop all work and student visas until these other countries take educational, work and food responsibility for their own populations. (Don’t get me started on what India and China are doing to the world environment because they cannot feed their own people!)

  2. I am dead serious. How is it ironic?

  3. Lynn’s right, you know. You could turn this into great standup.

  4. It’s not ironic, I selected that word because 1) I know you like it and 2) it drives you crazy when misused. Also, I think you are much nicer than you like to portray yourself.

  5. Well first of all, I have always thought of myself as a rant based comic. Secondly, I am not trying to be mean. I literally feel that unwanted children have been the primary source of societal flaws. Just like pride is the root sin, unwanted children are the root problem in the world.

  6. Also, this isn’t about overpopulation. Well not just overpopulation. It’s about unwanted children. It’s about people reproducing for the wrong reasons. It’s about stupid people spreading their unnecessary genes. It’s about my taxes going to feed the poor, build prisons, and pave streets for waste of space people to use. It’s about people that don’t contribute to society consuming all of my resources.

    By “we” I mean “humans”.

  7. Goodness, you seem so angry. That aside, I agree with the statement that unwanted children are the root of societies problems. However, there are plenty of children who are simply evil. There’s already been research into this “evil” gene. But what it really is, is a missing sort of…brain cell. The cell that tells you to feel bad when you do something wrong. Of course childhood trauma could attribute to this, but usually those children were groomed to be evil.

    My mom used to work part time at a hospital/prison that housed these children. The ones who, even in loving families (who had no pasts of abuse, drugs, etc.) still found extreme enjoyment in hurting people and animals because, “they wanted to watch the kitty die.” Naturally, most people don’t know about these little holdings because, well who wants to hear about children right out of some horror movie?

  8. “Unwanted children” is ultimately a global problem because other counties are sending their “unwanted” to America on visas and destroying foreign environments to feed their hungry. Solving the issue of the small number of unwanted children in America will not address the problem of sharing scarce resources as long as some countries are defining all children as wanted without restraint. If global population was sustainable, the small number of unhealthyl children would not be a burden to you, Chris.

  9. Kachine, from what I have read, there is not evil gene. You are describing sociopathy. Even though there are plenty of them, they are still the minority. Childhood trauma or “grooming” children to be evil still falls on the environment in which these children are raised. Stupid people having kids.

    Aunt Julie, I think you are still proving my point. We need to stop having unwanted kids. Plain and simple. We need to make birth control easily available. We need to encourage using them. We need to humiliate those that don’t use them. Also, there isn’t a “small number of unwanted children in America.” It’s an epidemic. It’s a cycle. These children are raised to think that having a family is the primary goal in life, even when they aren’t ready/able to raise children.

  10. Chris, the children you are talking about aren’t unwanted by their parents; they are unwanted by YOU. Their parents don’t think they are useless eaters. Their parents don’t think they are a burden on society.

  11. Again, that’s my point. People too stupid to realize that they shouldn’t have children.

  12. After a discussion with my Aunt Julie, I have realized I am targeting the wrong people. Instead of “unwanted children”, the real problem is “unfit parents”.

  13. Wow!

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