Every once in a while, I read a news story that is totally silly and stupid. Then I notice it happened in Washington State, and I’m not at all surprised.
So here we go. From Wenatchee, WA (A place in the middle of nowhere. I recently went there for a friend’s wedding. It’s seriously half way to Narnia.) Anyway, a couple returned to their home last week to find a strange man had broken into their house and was feeding their dog pudding. Right here, that’s enough to be a silly story, but it gets better.
When asking the man what he was doing in their home, the intruder claimed that he was trying to kill someone. Based on the story, I’m assuming it was someone in particular, and not just a random person to kill. Anyway, the residents told the guy that his supposed victim did not live there, so the guy left. But that’s not the strange part yet.
As he was leaving, the intruder called to the dog, and the dog HAPPILY LEFT WITH THE CRIMINAL. That’s the silly part, but it’s not the stupid part. The intruder gave the owners his name, and was arrested soon after.
The dog, “Buddy”, was found by Animal Rescue after he was almost hit by a car in a not related, but equally “wtf” part of this story.
Let’s take a moment to let this situation play in our minds. At what point do you stop and assume it’s a practical joke. A guy is feeding your dog pudding. Then he tells you he wants to kill someone. After admitting his goal of murder, gives you his real name. Then leaves WITH your dog. Then abandons your dog.
Why did he take the dog, if he was just going to abandon it? Why was he feeding it pudding? Based on the obvious aggression the dog showed (happily eating out of the guy’s hands), I’m betting he wasn’t the greatest guard dog in the world. So no need to bribe the canine with a sugary treat. Speaking of which, who feeds a dog pudding? Like if I wanted to give a dog a treat, pudding isn’t even on my list. I wouldn’t even think about it. Did he raid their refrigerator, and that was the first thing he found? Maybe they only had pudding. Maybe that’s why the couple left; to get food.
Next, this moron told them he wanted to kill someone. Couldn’t he lie? I mean, obviously, the couple isn’t the person he wanted to kill. So couldn’t he say something like “I heard your dog howling, and wanted to make sure he was safe.” Nope. He went with “I want to kill Bill.” I guess honesty is the best policy.
Then he give them his name. At no point did the rational voice in his head say “Joe Schmoe”. No. Instead he went with his real name. Again, yay for honesty, but good Keanu, this guy is stupid as fuck.
The part about the dog happily leaving with this guy tells me that maybe his owners weren’t the best owners either. Or the dog REALLY liked pudding.